Canibus - C True Hollywood Stories   
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written by AJ    
When I think of Canibus, I think of one of my favourite emcees. I think of the only emcee to rip LL Cool J a new asshole. I think of the man who spits fiery lyrics riddled with clever metaphors and intelligent punchlines. Sadly, that emcee is nowhere to be found on this piece of garbage.

Now I think of Canibus differently. I think of this kid who has all of the talent in the world, but just can't put it together. After listening to this album, I feel sorry for this guy. Enough about that…

Here's the deal. Canibus has flipped his style. He no longer spits fire, he just talks, and he doesn't spit battle rhymes anymore, he raps about how everyone in the industry shits on him, and he doesn't get any respect. Whatever, man…. Grow up.

Of course we couldn't have a Canibus album that doesn't contain a gem or two. I mean, the man can still rip. On 'Boxcutta,' we hear snippets of the old Canibus. Same goes for 'R U Lyrically Fit?', and 'The Rip Off'. On 'I Got a Story 2 Tell', Canibus attempts to rekindle his rap career by going at Jay Z and the rest of the Roc-A-Fella camp. Canibus flows nicely over the track, but his subject matter is terrible, for example, "When I was fucked up you didn't give me a couple g's to help." Directed at Jay Z, most of you are probably scratching your heads in confusion right now. Is it Jay Z's responsibility to keep Canibus eating? If only Cani had something to say, the track would be okay. However, every other single track is a definite fast forward, and the 'Stan' concept (After Stan [from MMLP fame] drove his car off the bridge, Canibus dove in and saved him, and signed him to a deal) is feeble. You will definitely want to avoid the seriously stupid skit, 'Ya Teef is Yellow', as well as tracks 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 18, and 19. Yes, this album is that bad.

I'd also especially like to recommend that any Muslims avoid the album. On the idiotic 'Draft Me', Canibus enlists the help of a few nobodies to talk some shit about Islam. It's pretty sad. I hope that Canibus will file a restraining order against the man behind the production on this album, Louie Lombard. These two should never be allowed to hook up again. The reasons this album sucks are as follows: terrible beats, worse than any other 'Bis album, annoyingly oversung stupid hooks, irritating skits, Canibus' change of flow and subject matter, and last but not least, the common, sad attempts at rekindling his career by dissing rap's top figures for no reason. Under no circumstances should anyone else buy this album, maybe this guy thinks he's gonna sell no matter what he comes out with… We need to set him straight. If you have been unlucky enough to buy this album, and if you have already listened to it, then, after you throw it out the window like a Frisbee, pop in '2000 B.C.' to rejuvenate your love for hip hop.

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